So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
