I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
