Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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