..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
