god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
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Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
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Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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