Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
