The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
