maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
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Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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