proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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