I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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