Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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