just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
