conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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