what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
