Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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