HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
