my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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