If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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