So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
