Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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