you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
