My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
