i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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