He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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