party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
