Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
