oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize