So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I enjoy the company of your penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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