Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
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