I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
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he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
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I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
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