I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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