i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Thank you for not boning my boss.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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