next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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