i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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