Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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