Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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