Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
