So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
