he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
