Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You have to summon your inner elephant
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
