did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
