I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
