Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
