nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize