I can tuck mytits in my pants
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
