Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
