I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
