One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
