Apparently you make a good broom.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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