Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
