just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
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