i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
