Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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