I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
