Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.