so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Randomize
