the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low