I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.