she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just tell him i said nine months
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Randomize