dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
